Code word is 'Popeye's' stupid!

Code word 'Popeye's'

I'm sitting at C14, waiting to board and the smell wafting from Moe's

next door is intoxicating-and I'm starving because I hadn't eaten all

day save for a grapefruit and a tangerine. I'd had an emotional

weekend and I either eat everything or nothing at all when I'm

emotionally challenged.

So, I fall prey to the ethnic aroma and head on over to Moe's. Hmmm, I

want something satifying but low cal. I lol because that's an oxymoron

if ever I heard one-low cal at Moe's. Hilarious!

"I'll have a burrito", I tell the handsome gentleman. I tell him beef

when he asks what meat I want...thoughts ran wild for a second.

Anyhoo, I tell the other not as handsome fella to pack it in,

"everything, please, including jalepenos." I'm salivating at that

point. I pay and head on to my gate just in time. We're boarding.

I'm in 1A. My regular was already taken. Here's why I mention that.

Everyone knows row 1seats have no underneath section for your stuff so

you have to put everything in the overhead. Daggit! I like going in

and out of my bag. Lip gloss if I need to slick the puckers. Hand

sanitizer, especially tonight. But, I'll follow directions. I put my

stuff overhead.

My aisle 1 seatmate sees me and tells whoever he's on the phone with

he'll call them back and gives me the biggest smile. Negro, please.

You're so not my type. And as he was about to get up and offer

unnecessary help, I firmly let him know, "I'm ok, thanks."

I relax in and Mac daddy gets back on his phone. Did I mention he's

Jamaican but he doesn't know I am-foreshadowing baby ;-) I open up my

Moe's bag and make a mental note to ask my FB peeps how they feel

about Moe's thing with throwing random tortilla chips in the bag with

your burrito. I open my yummy burrito (pictured below) and wipe the

saliva from my chin (j/k) and take a bite. Yes, I love food.

This is a long story for one simple point at which you'll shake your

head and say, "Kelly, you're crazy."

So, I'm in heaven, eating my beautiful burrito and I hear Mr.

Notverymacdaddy go, "Hey, you memba me worst nightmare pan de plane?"

to whomever is on the phone. Immediately, I know what he's trying to

tell his 'friend'. But the friend isn't getting it. So, dude pulls the

phone from his mouth and tries to whisper, "Popeye's". Now, we all

know that trick. When you're talking about someone beside you, you use

your phone like a walkie talkie. Stupid. So, after he says Popeye's

five more times, I start to smile, turn to him and ask, "Is my burrito

bothering you?" He damn near dies of shock. Why? Couple of things. I'm

Jamaican, for one and I figured out your oh so difficult codeword,

where Popeye's stand for 'people eating beside me on the plane'. I

wanted to say to him, 'you need a new friend and code word because they had no idea

what you were talking about and I'm from yawd too fool' but I didn't.

Instead, I listened to him stutter out, "just a bit." Patois is now gone.

I laugh because I take a good look at this fool beside me, who just

asked the flight attendant for a seatbelt extension (which I didn't

even know existed until s few months ago) and think that he had some

nerve. He's sitting there, looking like he just ate five burritos and

the Mexicans who made them. I bet you he was mad because he didn't

have one. And, besides, I made sure not to get onions as in 'the close

talker' just in case I met the future Mr. _____Fleming (he'll

hyphenate. Lol, I'm stupid) or just in case I have a visitor late

night tonight or early morning. You know how onions stick to your craw

and that's not sexy.

So, after Mr. Hater (see how his name changes as we go) pulls his chin

off the floor, I suggest that he turn on the fan thing above his ugly,

bald head because I'm not going stop getting my grub on for him. He

does and tells his friend he has to go.

I'm not rude. I promise. Well, not without reason....and I was hungry.

I respect you more if you just speak directly to me instead of

dropping hints, not saying it would have stopped me from eating my

burrito but I may have eaten just a half instead ;-)