Oh, please let them not be sitting beside or around me on this flight!!!!
So, I got to Midway, just in the nick of time. I was told there was only one standby seat left and if I didn’t make it, I could try for the 3 0’clock flight. Nah! I’m making the 12:15. I got into the TSA line and heard the announcement, “all passengers on AirTran’s flight 25 to Atlanta, please report to gate A14 for an on time departure. I felt my skin start to heat up. I have to get home early today. Got business to take care of.
I’m headed to the ‘short line’ for Elite passengers and am wondering, ‘what’s the point?’ The line seems to be just as long as the regular lines but then I see why.
Yep! Black folk acting up. There they were, this ‘gang’ of what looked like five, yelling at the top of their lungs, trying to tell the TSA agent why they should allow them to go through with their McDonald’s. Okay, listen here. If I didn’t make it through with my gravy, it ain’t happening ;-) The TSA agent is telling them that they can’t bring liquids and that what’s in the bags are okay, but that’s it. “What the F should I wash my food down with fool?” one of the ‘civilized people’ says. The TSA just looks on in embarrassment. I had to stop for a minute-yes, I was a little late, but…..
The poor TSA agent had to almost beg and plead with one young gentleman to remove all the gaudy, fake jewelry he had around his neck and on his fingers. He finally did. And when they had to take their belts off, I could feel everyone tense up because their pants were already hanging below their behinds so with no belt, who knows what might pop out. Man, I tell you! Black folk!!!!
I go through TSA and haul ass to the gate. No Lance in sight. Daggit! But, I hear his voice over the P.A. system. He’s at Gate A16 and I’m wishing I was going to Orlando instead of Atlanta-not really. Just kidding. I walk up to the podium and tell the lady there that I’m on standby. She smiles and hands me a ticket without asking for my name. I’m getting Lance a damn cape-SuperDude! I look over to gate A16 and he smiles at me and waves. Man, I tell you! Love him! He hooked me up again.
So, I get on and no business class this time but I get the seat right behind 3D, lots of leg room so I can stretch out. Someone’s in my seat. I give her the ‘you’re in my seat look’ and she looks at her boarding pass and says, ‘oh yeah, I’m in 20D, not 10D’. Really? C’mon now! Two other people are beside me and I suppose the woman who just got up prompted them to check their boarding passes. Yep, they’re in the wrong seats too. I tell you boy! So, they get up and move over the other side.
All’s well at this point, we’re taxiing and everything and then we take off. “Oh sh#t! Oh sh#t!” is all I hear from the guy beside me. He looks to be about nineteen and the woman with him, soon to find out, is his mom. He’s carrying on and I pray it’s because it’s his first time on a plane and she’s not making it any better, pulling his collar, trying to get him to look out the window. “Nah son! Ma, stop!” is what he’s yelling and I’m looking around, praying that no one thinks I am, in any way, related to these fools. This mess goes on for a little while longer and then, the OTHER black people in rows 12-16 start clapping and cheering on the mom to force the son to look out the window. He’s getting louder and is about to take his seatbelt off and go God only knows where, when finally, the flight attendant comes up and asks him to sit quietly and turns and gives rows 12-16 ‘the look’. They settle down. And, I'm so happy because I don't do well in stressful situations, especially on board a plane.
The son settles down, pushes his mom off him and reaches down into his bag. He takes out a stack of papers. Yep, I’m nosey, so I look over. He’s written a rap and I guess that’s what’s going to keep him calm for the remainder of the flight. Whatever works because I feel a migraine coming on. And his rap went a little like this:
‘F what you heard, ya’ll ni$$as can’t see me
Stop watching me and stay watching TV
If you ain’t ‘bout the money, don’t even look my way
I stay fly and straight gangsta every mutha&$*k*$ day’
And then I look away because I’m getting dizzy and because the rap is ‘straight wack’. LOL!
Okay, I’m nauseous now after writing this. Too much going on around me, but I had to share with you guys. Peace.
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